Matchmaker Jennifer J. Hayes Challenges you to go deeper

Saturday, February 09, 2019

Matchmaker Jennifer J. Hayes Challenges you to go deeper relationship

Such requests we make of our clients, as matchmakers, could be difficult at times.  No one will conveniently agree to let someone manage their love life and even go to the extent of arranging dates for them, with potential matches which they have never met.  For such arrangements to work out in this digital dating age, most clients need serious assurance, which is precisely what we provide at South Carolina Matchmakers.  Over the years, we have mastered the match-making art, and we are ready to leverage our experience and exposure to keep you out of this madness.

Here's the deal..

We understand that it is entirely impossible to know a bit of everything about someone just by checking their pictures, and that is why we go the extra length of finding out more than the looks, which is what is offered on dating websites and apps.  At South Carolina Matchmakers, we go as far as organizing physical meetings with our clients, where we get to know and explore their values, personality and other important aspects of their life.  With that, we get to provide an accurate description of them. 

That’s not all..

There is no more using a picture as an excuse for not finding the right person for you.  You do not have to find out, beforehand, if you are fit for or compatible with your potential partner.  If you try to find out via a picture, you might miss out on the person’s energy and personality, thus depriving yourself of a significant part of the attraction between a romantic pair.  In the case of dating websites and apps, your mind has been conditioned to seek any flaw in the picture of your potential match, and once you find one, you ignore them and move to the next.  Whereas, going on a date without prior knowledge of the other person’s looks offers you the chance to meet with them with no preconceived thoughts, while staying real and natural.  To ignite the chemistry between any two people, there has to be a natural in-person interaction.

In the past, we have had clients admit that they might not have ended up with their current partner if they had seen his or her picture before agreeing to meet with them.  We always warn against photo sharing, but some clients defy such warnings and exchange pictures later after we must have given them their potential match’s contact.  It is a form of a disservice to the potential match.  The moment someone banks too much on the information a picture carries and judges the person based on the looks, there is a strong chance of missing out on the opportunity to explore possible natural chemistry between the pair.  And considering the world we live in today, with so many media platforms that allow picture posting, there is hardly a haven that shields us against social stalkers.  Even at that, there is nothing as worthy as meeting someone physically and using instincts in assessing such individual before making up their mind about them. 

You hardly find dependable blind dates services in today’s world, and that is why we appeal to our clients not to thwart our efforts by digging around to know about people, instead of getting to know them naturally.  You will only end up making up a story about that person based on his social life, which in most cases are not true.  Take an instance of one of our male clients, who decided he would not be attending an introduction after assessing the picture of the woman online.  Six months after the rejection, he later met the same woman at a party, and they ended up marrying.  This sums up the fact that a picture is not really worth a thousand words.  He was lucky to have a second chance, not all of us will be.  This is why you should be inspired to focus on energy instead of looks, and the way to do this is to accept to go on a date.  While we understand meeting with someone you never knew seems a bit vulnerable, it could also translate into one of life’s greatest joys if done carefully.  Do not rush, enjoy the wait, and be open to being surprised.

Nearly all of us tend to judge a book by its cover, at least, at one point in our lives.  My own case was when I met my husband through a mutual friend.  Before then, I had seen his picture where he appeared super short, but on meeting him physically, I was met with a 6”3 figure and 13 years later and the rest is history.  Have you found yourself in a similar position where you took a stance on someone based on their picture or social profile, but later met a surprise in real life?  Feel free to share your story here; it will be an inspiration to others, as well as a challenge to make them see the importance of not judging people by pictures, especially in finding love.

Author : Jennifer J. Hayes, MRCP

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